Round 3

Com-pli-ca-ted

Recently I have seen several posting on these messaging websites where people tend to think Love is complicated, gay or straight. So, I wanted to blog on why I think Love isn't really Com-pli-ca-ted.


For so long I sat up in the dark, living my life on my own. A friend once asked me how can I go to bed alone everyday and wake up the next day so happy. Then right out the blue I bumped into him, and I was so amused by his smile, and just needed to have him. I didn’t know what happened. I thought about us all day, and dreamed about him all-day.

While I was loving him it didn't take long for people speculating that it wouldn't last long, but in my mind that just couldn’t be true, because I was loving him more then I thought I could do, and I was building that happy home.

Time spent, had me missing going to bed ever night alone, and waking up happy.

I realize I couldn’t give 1 reason why I loved this man, except that he was ideal to me, physically, and sexually. At that point, I realize I lost control of me, and I went from going to bed alone ever night, to going to bed every night with just a body.

After reality hit, which was to late for me, I seen all his flaws, and learned the person I never ever knew, even when I was in love.

So, I say this to those individuals that believe love is complicated

Love isn’t always complicated, you can go to bed angry, and still wake up so happy, if your with the right person.

One day you may be standing in the middle of the road and don't know where your going, but all of a sudden your life may change and life finally gives you something back.

So, let’s stop falling in love with the outside person, let's stop materializing love, but let's fall in love with inspiration, motivation, conversation, and lets all fall in love with someone that makes us feel beautiful.


But, the challenge would be to recognize this and look for mental stimulation, and not penetration.

Round 2

26. Is the age I am today, and it also means " If you never act, you will never know for sure." In the Life lessons. So, lets see.. I consider myself an accomplished black man, for the age of 26, but am I not, because I'm suppose to be married? Some say that being gay makes you cursed because you will never have the one thing life is suppose to give you, a companion.


One thing I have learned this far about this life style, is that it can definitely be lonely. But, let's think about the term "Lonely" for a second though. Whats makes a person lonely? I was taught I'm never alone, so if I'm never alone how can I be lonely? Maybe this is easy for me to say because I have always considered myself to be a Loner, well that was once the case.


The older I get the more I come to accept and acknowledge that life offers to much to experience it alone, and I have been blessed with friends that I wouldn't trade for anything.


So, true it may be that being gay offers challenges of finding that companion because us men are driven by temptation, and for the moment, yet men are men in either a heterosexual or homosexual relationship, but whats the difference? Is it because in a heterosexual relationship men are bounded by a woman of substance, and what she gives her man which comforts him, and not intimidate him? Is it because homosexual relationships are always based on physical attraction an not intellectual attraction? lol, nah you think... of course that's the reason.


Being gay and dating is a difficult task I must admit, but I get it.... And, if a person has only known this one thing their entire life, and has never desired something different that has to mean that I am meant to be the person I am today. I see beautiful women every day of my life, and I would tell a woman how beautiful she is, but I don't want anything more but a nice time at a bar, as we chuckle about the hot guy that just walked in the door.


I am a gay masculine man, which has come to be very popular in the public view now a days (smirk), but I say that because I'm gay, and acknowledging beautiful women doesn't make me want to be one. I'm a gay man, and I am only attracted to gay MEN, no disrespect my flamboyant family.


Life Lesson. Sometimes thinking about your life and sorting out what you have learned is just as important as tackling a new venture. So, that's what I'm doing, I'm tackling a new venture by acknowledging the difficult task of dating in the Gay community, what are my expectations? None, but I will show more, be more considerate, listen more, show patience more, and as someone would say "step out of my shoes for a second"more, cause after all Ladies, Men have feelings too.

Round 1

Here is round 1 at the (public) blog thing. It appears it won't hurt to be more open with my inner being. I've never really been very expressive with my own personal emotions, but yet surprisingly easily inspired by others expressiveness. So, how harmful could an exercise in better self-disclosure be? Or is it deadly?

I find myself wrapped up in a computer world where there are so many networking websites, one has to wonder, " How much Networking is really going on" so instead here I am, blogging, digging, trying to pry open the shell that keeps me from sharing the real me. so each stroke of the key will be a push on the lever to reveal the one you think you know, the one you thought you knew, and the one I know.

here is a man's confessions, as a black man, as a gay black man.